Will Be Set Free

Resident Reflection

2011-04-20T09:07:00.000-04:00

Dear Dad,
Today I chose to believe in You. Not just believe about you. Tonight I chose despite my lack of full understanding of your love for me, that I will believe you when you say you love me, even despite my feelings, for feelings are not truth. Tonight I chose to believe to put my full trust in you not because I was told by others, not because I can see what you're planning for me, but because you sent your Son down to die for me, a sinner. That realization I cannot deny. Tonight I put my faith in You because I know even though I cannot see what you're doing in me, your Word says you're holding my hand. Tonight I put my hope in you because I know I cannot win this battle on my own. You will take this broken person and one day make her whole. I believe I am a dirty sinner covered by your grace.

Resident Reflection

2011-04-11T09:17:00.001-04:00

Can I know you as Abba
All that you are for me
And ever was
The diversity of life
You sculpt on Your three dimensional pallet
Thick white clouds that reflect sunlit hues
My eyes reflect emotion
Can my emotion reflect a sturdy trust in You
You are amazing God
I peer into the microcosm of cellular structures
The tiny seedlings
I view the macrocosm the horizon
The space below the blue
You are genius God
And I have the audacity to brag
My limited knowledge like broken puzzle pieces
Of magazines, television, books
Your knowledge consists of all things hidden
And all things revealed
Yet not only are you aware of everything
But you carved it Yourself from Your small
Atomic building blocks
Let us speak of yet another dimension beyond space and time
I shall call it truth and love
And you my God are the Master of both

Staff Commentary: Right Thinking

2011-04-06T09:16:00.001-04:00

     The topic of classes this week has been, "Right Thinking". This has to be one of my favorite topics we cover in our 10:00 morning classes. Next to saving grace, in my opinion, this would be one of the most important topics for the ladies at VOH to learn.

     The majority of the ladies come to VOH with extreme struggles in their thought life. Thoughts like: "God deserted me"; "I can't ever change"; and "It is just hopeless, I've tried everything" are very common. These statements are so often on applications sent to VOH. These statements are also consuming the ladies thought life day in and day out. There is one common theme to this type of thinking-deception. The above thoughts are lies! So much of the work the VOH team and the ladies do is to identify lies that are believed and replace them with the truth found throughout God's Word.

     As we begin working through the way a counselee is thinking, it is so exciting to witness the joy they have when they realize there are solutions to the problems that brought them to VOH. When they apply to the program, they are overwhelmed with changing their behaviors. This task seems impossible. However as we begin the hard work of digging into their thinking to get to what is going on in their heart, they begin to have hope. They have hope because they start to recognize the lies that they have been believing and allowing to effect every choice they make.

     The choices they are making are self-serving choices. They choose what will make them have comfort, control, ease, escape or pleasure. Then they are distraught because they are not getting what they want. Instead they end up hopeless, trapped and spinning out of control. Why? Because these self-serving choices they are making are based on lies. Lies like: "Alcohol will bring me pleasure"; "If I numb my pain I'll feel better"; or "When I have complete control of my body weight I will be satisfied".

     As we investigate the truth of God's Word, the ladies begin to believe that these self-service choices will NEVER satisfy! They begin to recognize the reason why God placed them on this earth- to live for Him rather than for self. We don't see instant recognition of these truths. We repeat these truths over and over and eventually see their thinking change. We see a new habit begin- we see them thinking through Phil 4:8-"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things", we see them believing truth. And we see peace replacing turmoil, Phil. 4:9-" Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

~ Heather Starkweather, VOH Social Worker

Resident Reflection

2011-04-01T11:05:00.000-04:00

You sustain Your world full of people
Some You have preordained to know You
Why have You chosen the likes of me
Forever shall I wonder
For nothing good is in me but You alone make the flower radiant
You alone give true soul to music
Let my heart speak good back to you Lord
Help me Lord to change my foolishness into praises of my King of Heaven
All things are but shadows passing
You are the Rock, the Solid and firm Self-existent one
No one sustains You
You are Your own burning engine of power
For there is no before God
God has always the breath of Life

Resident Reflection:April

2011-03-28T11:55:00.000-04:00

Step up to the plate
Intimidated by crowds
Batter swing
She misses the ball
She misses the call
Why does she or he have so much power?
Here are my wrists
Please shackle them to your opinion
The mysterious depth of me, you ask?
Ain't nothin but a slave that assigned my many masters.
Selah
Lord in Heaven
Have I made this prison?
Unbearable brick stacked tall
Sharp metallic bondage
Eyes perceiving limited walls yet
Blackened by the absence of the Son
Selah
Then a great event
Cement cracks revealing arms of light
Reaching through the darkness
Caressing my iris
Terrified weary habits finally find a type of comfort
With the warmth of this new Son
Selah
"Lean not on my own understanding"
Speaks the shard of light
Through cracked cement
Speak the light?
Speak the light yet to me?
A lowly slave who invented slavery with the children of Adam down through the ages.
Selah

Resident Reflection

2011-03-25T11:21:00.000-04:00

I'm so thankful that God has brought me to Vision of Hope. It seems like I learn something new about God, His Word or myself everyday. I grew up in a Christian home, but I hadn't really ever applied the things I was taught, but now that I'm away from all the distractions of the world, I'm starting to see changes now that my focus is on growing in Christ's likeness. The changes that are taking place are ones that I never thought would be possible and I was right because I was trying to do it on my own. God is teaching me about what love is and how wrong my perspective was about it. I've always thought of love as a works program and I'm so thankful that God doesn't work like that. His grace is so much greater than my sins, and just the thought of that overwhelms me. I'm so excited about all that God has taught me and I'm looking forward to seeing what else He plans to teach me while I'm here. When I return home, I want to continue living to glorify God and live in the identity that Christ gave me!

Resident Review: Accountability

2011-03-20T16:47:00.000-04:00

I read an article on accountability a couple days ago for counseling. It was actually really, really good and made me think a LOT about the whole idea of having “accountability partners” as a Christian. Yes, I’ve heard the term a LOT before, and I’ve even loosely “used” some of my friends as accountability partners. I say “loosely” because after reading this article, I’ve discovered that my idea of an accountability partner is totally flawed. Yet it’s what the majority of people think it is. This article gave me a new understanding of the term and what it means to have an “AP”. (That’s what I’m going to call it because it’s too hard to type out the whole word every time, and I’m lazy!)

Christians need accountability. That’s a given. We all know that. Really, everyone needs accountability. But what does that mean? I’ll tell you what it does NOT mean, but what we usually think it means. It doesn’t mean a person who will ask you what you’ve been doing or thinking. It doesn’t mean someone who will be on your back to get you to confess your struggles to them so they can pray for you, etc. Accountability is ACTIVE, not PASSIVE. I’m going to quote Philip Huber in his article. “Without recognizing it, accountability can easily become a way of abdicating responsibility. In asking you to hold me accountable, you become the active agent and I become the object, or recipient, of that action. This passivity can be a set up for blame-shifting. Recently I heard of a fallen brother blaming his accountability partners for their failure to hold him up to adequate scrutiny. If they had asked the right questions at the right time in the right way with the right persistence he wouldn’t have fallen. That is, after all, why he asked them to hold him accountable.”

How many times have I done this myself? A thousand, I’m sure, if once. But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I am responsible for my own actions – no one else. It is MY responsibility to go to my AP and tell them what is going on. I need to take the ACTIVE role, not the blaming, dependent role that I’ve used to often. Like weightlifting – a good spotter won’t intervene too quickly. He’ll let you struggle and offer encouragement, but he won’t intervene until absolutely necessary, and even then, he won’t lift the whole bar, he’ll only take on the minimal weight to help you get out of the situation.

I also need to be as detailed as possible. Going to my AP and telling them, “hey, I’m struggling with pride” is NOT going to help me. They’re not there to drag information out of me. They are there to offer support when I absolutely desperately need it, and encouragement. If I’m going to play the active role, I need to be specific. I need to say, “hey, on Tuesday morning, I was struggling with my pride because I was trying to do xyz perfectly by myself and not asking God for help. Can you pray that I’ll be able to ask Him for help and not try to do xyz alone and on my own strength?”

That is specifics. That is detailed. That’s what I need to get used to doing. It’s not up to my AP to continually ask me questions and pry things out of me so that I can place the blame somewhere else other than myself. If I’m struggling with something or sinning, I need to take the steps to change that, and one of those steps is talking to an AP or someone close about what it was that I was doing and how I need to change.

Anyhow, those are just some of my thoughts from reading Huber’s article. I have misused the accountability process in order to shift the blame anywhere other than myself, when that is the only place it ever needed to be placed. I’m sure a lot of other people have done this as well, or there wouldn’t be such a screwed up system and definition of accountability partners. But let’s just say that I’m going to definitely work on this and try to change my perspective. I need to hold MYSELF accountable first and foremost. I need to search MY OWN heart and my OWN thoughts and respond how God would want me to. Having the extra support of an accountability partner is meant to strengthen both them and me, and not to be a way to blame others for my own failures.

Resident Reflection

2011-03-15T11:00:00.003-04:00

VOH has helped me focus on God and making Him "#1" in my life instead of the worldly desires that have consumed my life for the past 4 years.The Staff and Interns at VOH help me concentrate on my Lord and Savior in order to rededicate my life to Christ. I feel more happy and at peace with myself. Without the help that VOH has provided for me, I would continue to live a more miserable sinful life that would not honor my Heavenly Father. Even though there are hard times at VOH (being away from family), it has given me a chance to renew my life with Christ with accountability with Staff that would not come along with the distraction/pressure of the world on my shoulder. There is no other place like VOH and I am thankful for listening to God, family, friends and Pastoral Staff to make that commitment to get better in order to allow a safer and more hopeful future that God promised in Jeremiah 29:11. God has given/shown me that I need him for everything. Without Him I can't grow with Fruits of the Spirit and have a deeper more spiritual relationship with him. My Father has also helped me learn more about Salvation in Him, how He can make me happy, to delight in Him with a heart that is joyful and thankful, and that He is ALWAYS there for me no matter what. The learning process of Biblical principles of making God my everything, praying/reading Scripture daily and conquering sin with the armor on me daily have allowed me to put them into practice/apple them daily to Glorify and honor my Father and whoever comes across my path. I am also applying these principles with God, family, friends and VOH Staff, knowing that I am striving and changing to become a "Woman after God's own heart." I feel my life will be different due to knowing how to handle my past and future with a Biblical perspective, putting into practice/applying to my life daily with a Christ-like attitude to Glorify him in every circumstance that comes my way. Putting complete trust/control in God and knowing He has what is best/safe for me in the future.

Resident Reflection

2011-03-11T11:09:00.004-05:00

Vision of Hope has helped me change my life. The staff here led me to Christ. They continually show grace and love; and they gently help me turn my heart to the truth. I am so grateful for my counselor, she really helped me change my life. I cherish everyone here. God is teaching me that His way is best. God is helping me and giving me the strength I need. He is teaching me about His love towards me. He is teaching me to trust Him. I am learning that hard is not bad, that you grow from it. I'm learning to trust and obey. I'm learning to lay down my life and surrender to His ways. I'm learning that it's progressive sanctification. I am growing in following Jesus' way, praying, and knowing the Bible. My life will be different because I know Christ. He is a part of me. I am continuing to learn truth here that has and will forever change my life. I am so thankful for this place.

Resident Reflection-Jessica

2011-03-08T10:28:00.002-05:00

Hello! I'm a sixteen year old girl who lives at Vision of Hope. I can't even express to you how much this place means to me. I arrived here about a month and a half ago. I didn't understand why God was wanting me to come to this place. I was very confused. I hadn't done drugs, drank, smoked, had an eating disorder or anything like that. I was confused on why God would want me to come to a treatment center for having a rough home life. I still have no idea how they actually let me in here, but God knew what He wanted for my life. When I arrived I was so excited to be here, because I wasn't at home, but God reminded me that I couldn't escape and run from my life at home. Even though it was a safe place here at VOH, my home haunted me and how I handled my life wrong. You have no idea how this place has helped and encouraged me not to give up, to love my family no matter what, and to pray for them. God has done amazing things in my life since I've been here. Some have been trials, some miracles. Two days after Thanksgiving my aunt who I loved dearly died of heart failure very unexpectedly. I was shocked. But thanks to the things I've been learning here, God was able to give me peace with my aunts sudden death. He taught my heart to sing praises to His name even though I didn't understand why. Well you know what? I do know why He allowed it. Because some how He was going to use it for His glory! And I knew there could be no greater joy but to see my Heavenly Father praised and glorified. More home trials arrived in my life and my heart was once again drawn closer to God through my brokenness. Through my weak helpless body, God was showing His strength. The greatest miracle He has shown to me was my Christmas break home, it was great! I walked through the doors of a changed household. It was dumbfounding to me. God had taken so much from my life and He showed me if I put Him first and give Him the glory no matter what, He would take care of me. I can't express to you what a miracle God has done through this place in a month and a half. When my heart was crying out for love, God showed it through the staff here. No matter what happens, God will be glorified somehow, and my life is in His hands. I will never be the same after being here. God has shown me how incredible He is. Thanks to what He was been teaching me about never losing Hope in Him, He was preparing me for the next phase of my life. On New Year's Eve I recieved a call that my dad has cancer. My heart is ready. Ready for this next journey, ready for a stronger relationship with Him, ready for Him to be glorified through this trial. Thank you for opening VOH. My family and I will never be the same. To God be the Glory and Praise through everything!

Resident Reflection:Jacquelynn-Genuine Love

2011-03-04T10:06:00.003-05:00

     My God is loving and it's neat to see how His love never ends. Unlike my love for people, it will end sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. But God's love will stay the same, it never changes.
    As I sat at my church and here, I realized that they said the exact same thing. My pastor back at home once said, "God's love is genuine love. He will give us what we need and not what we want." We tend to ask for things we want instead of need but with God's love He says "No", and gives us what we need. It's neat to hear as I get older that people say the same thing. God's love is genuine love.
     God loves us and not wanting anything in return but we as people tend to want something from love. God's love is selfless, self-giving, and our love is sometimes selfish love instead of selfless love. But if we have Jesus Christ as our Savior then He can help us have selfless love.
     The power of God's love is so powerful. Sometimes I just sit there and think to myself, "Wow, what a God we have, to love us so much that He gave His Son to die on a cross for us. He didn't have too, but He did because He loves us. That is selfless love, doing something for someone and not wanting something back." Exodus 20:6 says, "but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments." Even though God is a God of love, He is also a jealous God. Exodus 20:5 says, "You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God."
     Here's a question for you and me to think about. Have you loved your enemies as God has loved you? Sometimes you can say "Yes, I love my enemies", but if your enemies came up to you with a problem would you be able to help them? He loves us no matter what you do or I do.
     This affects me spiritually as well as emotionally because emotionally you know that you have to love your family, and spiritually because I want to be able to say, "Lord fill my cup and let me share it with others." This is my prayer, "Lord please show me your love everyday. Let me love you and them and you even more. I love you Lord."
     I give thanks to God because His love is so powerful and overwhelming that sometimes you don't understand it. Psalm 136:1 says, "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting."

Resident Reflection:Shelby

2011-03-01T09:15:00.004-05:00

Dear Lord,
I am so very thankful for you. I am thankful that you pulled me out of my own selfish habits to bring me here. Sometimes I imagine you sitting next to me as I take one more hit, or one more drink, or just one more pill. I can imagine you trying to push it away from me, but I just ignore you. I can only imagine what you were doing the night I took so many pills and smoked so much and drank so much that I couldn't even stay awake. Honestly thinking back, you were the only reason I survived! Through all the decisions I made you were sitting beside me praying I would make the right ones. When I made bad decisions it was as if I was telling you that you weren't enough and you never would be. But no matter how many times I fell back or said I hated you, you were always there. You were faithful to me even when I didn't want your love. You brought me out of the darkness. You gave me hope for a better life for me and my daughter. I'm so thankful for all you have done for me and putting people in my path to help me make good decisions. Thank you so much!

I love you greatly,
Your daughter (forever),
Shelby

Resident Reflection: Adrienne

2011-02-26T09:47:00.002-05:00

The God I serve is a loving God. Now I'm learning to love and admire daily. So many times in my walk with God, I ignore or am too wrapped up in myself that I fail to miss the picture of God's perfect love for me...as He chose me before the world even existed and He knew that one day I would love and serve Him. My love for Him will never compare or come close to His unfailing love for me. He created me in His image. If that in itself is not love that please tell me what love is. He chose me to enjoy Him forever.
     As I reflect back on my journey here on earth, I have a growing amazement of His divine love for me. The many times I ignored Him, had an idol before Him, the priorities that stopped me from enjoying time with Him, or even during trials and dark days-I could not show or give my love to Him-I was too wrapped in myself, but my loving God kept loving and pursuing me on a daily basis. His gentle touch, patience, and reminders reveals His jealousy and unfailing love for me and that He wants me to love and serve Him.
     When I repeatedly made the same mistakes over and over, God's unfailing love for me remains constant and faithful. When I look at the amount of irrational and stupid decisions in my life, I can now look back and see His loving intervention of giving me His love. His loving protection, His gentle loving reminders of when I plain just don't get it, has always remained faithful. My God is a jealous God and loves me so much that He wants what is best for me. To the things I am blind and unable to see now, He lovingly reveals Himself and His true love for me.
     It's sad to me that I fully couldn't or was unwilling to see and to fully grasp His love for me until I ended up at VOH. To say that I'm at VOH is not a bad thing but again reveals God's pursuing love for me. To get out of myself to see Him clearly. That I'm alive and starting to see purpose in me is a major loving/faithful action on His part that I am able to see my loving God, save me from harms way time and time again. He chose to not give up on me, BUT rather to remain a faithful, loving God.

Resident Reflection:Brittney-For I am loved

2011-02-23T09:45:00.001-05:00

     Knowing the Lord and all his many attributes, I focus on one...His Love! In John 3:16 it states "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life." God's love is sacrificial. As a young child, I was forced to "earn" the love of my parents. To do chores or to answer with a "ma'am" or "sir". I would never hear the words "I love you" for they were far too busy with their addictions to notice me. When I came to the knowledge of God's saving grace, I was still focused on earning love. I did not know that it was a free gift. I would try and try to obey the "law", to earn my place in glory. God does not work that way. I needed to surrender my life to him, because I loved Him, not focus on earning with works. His love is a gift, I will earn nothing.
     As I learn more about God's love, I learn that He will love me the same now and forever. He will never love me more, nor love me less for His love is perfect. So...after High School I went back to my sinful ways because I couldn't lose his love nor earn it. So my body was taken captive by my fleshly desires. But even then, He loved me. In Isaiah 44:22 it says, "I have swept away your sins like a cloud, I have scattered your transgressions like the morning mist. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free."
Even when I walk away from Him, when I turn my back on God and walk in my earthly desires, He loves me! He wants to be my Heavenly Father, so that we can have the "perfect father/daughter relationship" that I long for. Why do I not run to Him? Why am I not full of joy? I have a Father who comforts me, who fights for me, who calls me home...who...loves...ME! God's love is a self-sacrificing love, agape love. As I stated in John 3:16, He sent His Son so that I could have a relationship with him.
     His love also provides for me in many other ways. It grants me joy. Joy that will strengthen my heart and my faith. His love grants me courage. Courage to fight the good fight. The fight against sin and all temptation. It also grants me assurance. Assurance that all my doubt will be removed from my mind. Assurance that He will remove all of my idols from my heart. I just need to let them go.
     God is love, He is all around me, surrounding me, calling me to return home to Him. Return to Him so that He can love me, the broken hearted, scared, lonely, hateful, bitter, confused little girl. For I am His, and He calls me child.

Graduate Reflection: Katelyn

2011-02-16T11:38:00.002-05:00

"19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: 20 That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them".-Deuteronomy 30:19-20

     So lately I have been in this "funk" if you will. What am I learning? A lifelong battle of that dreaded word, balance...it makes me shudder. I tend to be extreme at times, or all the time. See? Point made. If my cup isn't overflowing, then naturally I'm a rebellious sinner and might as well keep on sinning. Pathetic. I mean if my cup is empty, there has to be a filling process right? Cups just don't appear full, they have to be poured into.
     What am I realizing you ask? Well, life isn't all about me, shocking I know. Verse 20 says, "For He is your life". If I took God and replaced the word "life" in this sentence "life is all about me", see how ridiculous it is, "God is all about me". How vain. Now if I put God in place of "life" in verse 19, see how beautiful it sounds, "There for choose God that you may live". I get really stuck on "doing" Christianity, just going through the motions. Most of the time loving Jesus isn't going to Africa, or taking on 25 serving projects at once. Those are good, but when I become too consumed in them and I forget WHY I'm doing them, then I'm not choosing to live life, I'm not choosing to live love. And when I'm tried, I will be choosing ashes instead of pure gold. I get so caught up in the "obey His voice" command, that I lose track of the "cling to Him" part.
     God isn't about doing things. This is not to say that when I don't feel like reading my Bible because I don't want to just "do" it, that I just neglect it. That is something that I NEED to do. Sometimes I don 't end up reading and then I wonder why I get in these "funks". Well, I'm not letting my cup be filled! DUH!
    Coming to grips with the fact that if I truly understood and realized who God is, I wouldn't have an issue of doing, doing, doing because I would fall to my knees crying, " Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips". I need to hide myself in the wounds of Christ.

Father I pray and confess that you are beyond my comprehension. I confess that any idea that I have of you is so far off from who you really are. I confess that Holiness is the way you are, that you do not meet any standards to be Holy, but that you yourself are the standard. Abba I pray that you would devastate me, that you would ruin me for anything but you. I surrender all that I am, and that you would redefine yourself as who you are, not who I think you are or should be. I come to you now pleading with you to transform every part of me, and that I would choose life, I would choose you. Thank your for loving me enough to show me my desperate need of you. Amen.

Breaking News!: A Conference for Those Who Are Hurting

2011-02-16T08:20:00.002-05:00

A Conference for Those Who Are Hurting

At one time or another every human being will endure periods of intense suffering. It is common to the human condition. However, something so common to each of us has the potential to completely derail us, devastate us, and potentially ruin us unless we understand how to Biblically respond to it. God’s word has so much to say about how we should think about and respond to pain.

The focus of this conference is to benefit a counselee who is suffering, a family who is enduring pain and challenge, or an individual that is going through extremely difficult circumstances. The conference is designed to comfort, provide care, and encourage those who are in the middle of suffering or who would be benefitted by being assisted in thinking through suffering.The Hope for the Hurting conference has been designed to gently and lovingly lead you through some deep theological truths about suffering, sovereignty, and growth that will give you a firm foundation from which to find direction, purpose, and comfort in the midst of trying circumstances. More info...

Dates: July 21-23,2011

Location: Lafayette, IN

Cost: $150 per person when registering by June 30. Registration on or after July 1 is $200 / person. Register Here!

Speakers: Steve Viars, Jocelyn Wallace, Amy Baker, Rob Green, Bob Smith, Brent Aucoin, and Vision of Hope staff

Sessions: Understanding Suffering, How to Help Someone Bound to Habits Make Permanent Changes, Putting the Past Behind You, and many more. We are also offering a limited number of private, one-on-one counseling sessions during the conference.

Graduate: Katelyn

2010-11-22T16:09:00.002-05:00

Katelyn Cole

Move In Date - July 9, 2009

Graduation Date - October 8, 2010

Katelyn's testimony -
16 months. That’s about 69 weeks. Which is about 485 days. That’s 11, 640 hours, which then makes about 29,100 minutes. This was NOT my plan!

That is approx. how much time I have spent at Vision of Hope, as of right now. Now, it’s 29.101 minutes, and soon it will be 29,102, according to my plan, but then again, I’m not the one making the time go by. I’m not the one who put me here in front of you, I’m not the one who delivered you, I’m not the one who is perfect ( I know, hard to believe), I’m not the one who was literally slain, I’m not the one who took THE wrath of God for you, I’m not the one who rose from the grave and defeated sin, death, and Satan, I didn’t create the world, I don’t know the amount of hair on your head, or the amount of sand on any given beach. I can’t see every thought in your head (thank the Lord) and I definitely can’t save you.

But I do know someone who can. I know someone who makes the sun rise in the east and set in the west, I know the person who breathes life into you every day, I know the one who takes life every day. He provides, nourishes, diminishes, teaches, loves, rebukes, counsels, and literally holds each one of us together. You see I can stand up here and tell you countless stories of how I was a divorced child, didn’t understand life, royally screwed up the “life” that I had, came to Vision of Hope and am now sitting in front of you today because Vision of Hope is a great place and because of how much hard work I put in, but what’s the point of a story if it doesn’t have a main character?

How do you have a love story when there is no one to love? What’s the purpose? I mean if I don’t tell you who Christ is, then it wouldn’t be the greatest love story of all time. It wouldn’t be a story at all! It wouldn’t make sense! It would have no adventure, no climax, no happy ending, it would be worthless. The love story I am about to tell is unlike any other! It has everything, failure, redemption, grace! This is a story about the King of kings, and the Lord of lords. A story about a Savior, MY Savior who fought for me when I knew I wasn’t savable; who loved me enough that He WILLINGLY gave up HIS life for a doped up drug addict who hated Him and wanted NOTHING to do with Him. This is a story about at love that doesn’t end here on this earth, no, just like the text reads, we will live to see the New Jerusalem in all its glory and splendor, we will drink from the river of life, and best of all, we will get to see the face of the voice that we have followed for life.

Have you ever heard the term Gentile, or tax-collector? I’m sure most of you have, well have you ever met one? If not, Hi, my name is Katelyn, and I am all of the above. You see I loved sin, it was everything I ever wanted and more, until it hated me, come to think of it, it never did like me. I loved it. Being a divorced child, I had every right in the world to be manipulative; to steal, to have sex with whomever I wanted, to experiment with drugs, whatever I wanted. You see that is the crazy thing about sin, it tells you that it’s okay to do, that it’s “normal”, and then when you get pregnant or become addicted, it condemns you and tells you how worthless you are. It hates you, from the very beginning.

So being addicted to drugs was okay because I came from a broken family, lying and robbing homes, and bringing other people down with me was A-Okay. I was dead, I had nothing to live for, and why should it matter? No one loved me, I was unsaveable, I was too far out. I was the Biblical definition of a fool. Now the cool thing about Jesus, this guy I was talking about earlier, is that He actually lived for people like me! That was His whole purpose. Don’t ask me why I will never know. But see, this guy was fully human, and fully God. Don’t ask me how, I will never know. And this man had this theory that all humans were sinners, and needed help. Turns out he was right. Now listen up because this is where it gets really good. He was pure, clean, blameless, holy. He was significantly other, meaning that NOTHING compared to Him. But being the sinners we are, we’re so deceived that we didn’t want to see that because we don’t measure up. So, we took him, beat him, which by the way is an understatement, put some thorns on his head, made him drag a wooden cross through a town and up a hill, and then let him hang there until he died. Now that’s not a fun thing to picture, but what I think people tend to neglect, is how that was NOTHING in comparison to his purpose on the cross. You see, every thought that you had today that wasn’t holy, every word you said, every wrongful desire, was laid upon him. And not just today’s sin; look around you He took everyone’s sin from today. That’s just in this place, on this one day. I cannot bear to think about every person that has walked this earth, and what that meant. You know you lie to someone and you think, “Oh I need to ask forgiveness, God will hate me. He will be mad at me, he won’t bring me blessings”, and we feel terrible on the inside. But what we don’t understand, is that we have no clue as to what the wrath of God feels like; but Jesus, He knew. ‘“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”’-Mark 15:34. Funny thing is, I think about this and I feel so sad for Him, having his Father turn on him, when really, I was the Roman guard, I was the Jew shouting “CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!”. Every drug that I took, every lie that I told, sent him there. Pretty heavy huh?

Well, this is what I would call the climax of the story. I said this was a love story right? I know sounds like more of a horror story. Interestingly enough, this guy did this, willingly. He knew from the beginning of time, the pain that he would endure. You see he loved us before the foundations of the earth were laid. This love thing, is something that I can’t begin to wrap my mind around. It’s not like a love we experience here. It’s not flowers and roses. It’s not rainbows and unicorns, this love is so other, that we have only tasted it. There is no possible way we can love like Christ. Have you ever heard the saying “Love can’t be bought”? Well I’m here to tell you that it was purchased alright. Not with gold, or silver, but with blood. This wasn’t a cheap trade-in, this was an intentional purchase, paid for by the sacrificial blood of Jesus the Christ. He loves us, and he is calling us to him. So it turns out, that this love wouldn’t let this guy stay dead. After 3 days he was sick of being in the ground, and he conquered death. He defeated sin. Are you hearing me? Satan no longer stands a chance, even the gates of Hell can’t shut us down because one man’s love fought for us when we were dead in our trespasses. And this is the gospel truth. This is why you are here today, because you are loved beyond all reason. Yes, I was a junky. Yes, I was promiscuous, yes I was a thief, I liar, a coward; but I can now come boldly to the throne of my Great High Priest who can sympathize with me, because when He looks at me, he sees that cross, and knows that I am his. “Therefore I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is ONE body and ONE Spirit- ONE Lord, ONE faith, ONE baptism; ONE God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

The end of the story is one of my favorite parts. So Jesus rises from the dead right, and He comes back to earth, sees all His friends and completes some prophecies while he’s at it. Then He ascends in the sky to the right hand of the Throne of God, that’s where He’s waiting for us. One day, He will return, and he will call us. We will joyfully bow before him, and we will confess him as Lord. Not just believers though, ALL will bow, ALL will confess. See God will get his glory, if not from us, the rocks will cry out and the mountains will bow. Not only did God send his Son for us, as if that’s not enough, He promises that He will dwell with us for eternity. Eternity, let me define this for you, Webster’s dictionary defines it like this, infinite time; duration without beginning or end. Now, let’s think about this, no beginning and no end that is like, FOREVER. Think about it, that is a long time! Oh wait, there is no time! You see we can’t ever think about what eternity even is, because we are so finite, so human, but our God, the God that we serve is inviting us, the crack heads, liars, cheaters, prostitutes, the angry, the complaining, the hostile, ALL of us He is calling to His side. He is calling us to wake up every morning, leave ourselves behind, and pick up His image of righteousness and truth, so that one day, after all the hard work and suffering we endured, we will spend forever and a day looking on the one who called us into existence.

I am very grateful for VOH and the role it has played in my life. I want to stand here and say it saved me, but it didn’t. Jesus did. Being a graduate and all, people are congratulating me on all my hard work and telling me how proud they are of me. I am grateful for that, but when you really stop and think about it, I’m just doing what I’m supposed to be doing. This is just my job on earth, it’s not some extra thing that is so great and miraculous, this is what I was supposed to be doing from the time I was born, being Christ’s image. It’s what you were born to do. The Holy Spirit is prevalent in that house, of that I am sure. He is working in the lives of EVERYONE involved there, and I am confident that every woman who walks in that house is looked upon with special grace. I thank you for coming today and celebrating the life of Jesus Christ with me. I want nothing more. I now leave you with something I learned from a friend of mine named, Much Afraid, who embarked on a journey quite similar to mine. “First I learned that I must accept with joy all that you allowed to happen to me on the way and everything to which the path led me. That I was never to try and evade it, but to accept it and lay down my own will on the alter and say, ‘Behold me, I am thy little handmaiden, Acceptance-with-Joy. Then I learned that I must bear all that others were allowed to do against me and to forgive with no trace of bitterness and to say to Thee, ‘Behold me- I am thy little handmaiden Bearing-with-Love’, that I may receive power to bring good out of this evil. The third thing I learned was that you, my Lord, never regarded me as I actually was, lame and weak and crooked and cowardly. You saw me as I would be when you had done what you had promised and had brought me to the High Places, when it could be truly said, ‘There is non that walks with such a queenly ease, nor with such grace, as she.’ You always treated me with the same love and graciousness as though I were a queen already and not wretched little Much-Afraid. The fourth thing was really the first I learned up here. Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to with love and forgiveness and obedience to your will, can be transformed.”

Graduate: Jenni

2010-11-22T16:06:00.001-05:00

Jenni Eichelberger

Move In Date - January 7, 2010

Graduation Date - October 8, 2010

Jenni's testimony -
Before moving into Vision of Hope, I struggled with some things with my past. I had a past relationship that had been displeasing to God, and my aunt and uncle decided that counseling would be beneficial for me and my relationship with God.

Vision of Hope was an option and about a month later, I was moving into Vision of Hope.

I didn’t exactly know what counseling would be like and how it would go. I started counseling a week after I moved in and we started simple. We talked about my past all the way to the present.

As we continued counseling, I realized that I had some different idols and issues that I needed to take care. I live in a family full of sinners, including myself, and I wanted a perfect family. I started to work on loving my family the way they were and to be content with the family I had be given. I also worked on playing the role that God had intended for me to. We also talked about how I focused on works and how I did and how I didn’t focus on loving God. I learned that if I am loving God works that please God will come as a result. I also learned about communication. I realized that I hated to communicate and I realized that I need to learn how to communicate even if I didn’t want to.

When I moved into Phase 3, we had to move to Georgia. While I have been in Phase 3, I can see how learning to communicate has helped. I can go talk to Nana and John now and I am still nervous sometimes, but I know communication is needed in order for Nana and John to help me and to take care of me and to keep me safe. I admit that I don’t always communicate the way I should, but I can see how knowing and learning and overcoming the fear of communication as helped me and my family. Learning how to think of my past and my parents has helped me so much. It helps when it comes to trials with my parents or when talking about my past. I am able to look at things different and be thankful what I have now.

Now that I have learned about loving God works and fruit come as a result, I don’t have to worry about doing right. I have to be loving God and obeying Him. It has helped relieve stress in my life. Again, I admit I don’t always do the greatest job at loving God and not worrying about my works. But it is much better than it was.

In all, I think VOH as helped me learn so much pertaining to my relationship with Christ. I am thankful for the person I now can be in Christ. I am very thankful to Tori, Jocelyn, and all interns and other staff. They all helped me learn and helped remind me of truths.

Graduate: Liz

2010-11-22T16:01:00.001-05:00

Elizabeth Steinmetz

Move In Date - January 7, 2010

Graduation Date - October 8, 2010

Liz's testimony-
Hi my name is Elizabeth Steinmetz, I grew up in a Christian home with three younger sisters and an older brother. My mom is a daycare provider in our home, and my dad was in the Army and is also working at Boeing. We lived a normal Christian life, we all looked good going to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night for youth group. We read the bible and prayed each night before we went to bed as a family, and woke up early for devotions.

At the age of 11 my dad left for Iraq, during the 18 months that he was away I thought that I could not trust or depend on him. In that time my family moved from where we had been for seven years to a new place, and a new school. It was the first time I had been in school for four years, because me and my other siblings had been home schooled. I developed a habit of being lazy and not caring about anything, I rarely ever did any school work and got away with it because I had no one to keep me accountable. When my dad got back he was the guy to keep me in line. I hated it. My older brother and I were sticking together, manipulating everything to get what we wanted and always going to my mom if we wanted anything because my mom almost always said yes to us. I was going into middle school, and still struggling with being lazy. As the homework load got bigger, and the more I didn't do, the more I got into trouble. By the end of seventh grade I was starting to cut myself because of all the stress and overwhelming amount of things I felt like I had to do. While I was at school my seventh and eighth grade years I didn't talk much. Someone asked me if I could really talk at all. I went into a depression and had no good friends anymore. At home I lived a different life though, I was a happy and cheerful kid, my parents had no idea this was going on until they started to see the cuts on my arms. Once they found out I started to cut on my legs so they thought I was doing better, but on the inside I was feeling so alone.

My freshman year of high school I was doing a lot better, I had some friends at my church and at my school. I got into sports and played softball and my schooling was going a lot better. I finally was getting a C average for the first time in years because I had to have good grades to be playing softball. My softball coaches were the ones that saved my life for the rest of that year. I stopped cutting, and it seemed life was going a lot better. But something happened that I would have never expected. I came home early from school one day and was hanging out with one of my family friends, but he turned out to be someone different than I thought. That day he raped me in the basement of my house. The rest of that night I stayed in my room crying and if I had to talk to anyone I acted like everything was fine. I only could keep that in until I went back to school and on Tuesday I told one of my friends, she went and told her mom and word got back to my parents. Things started going out of control again. My dad called the police and got them involved, I was pulled out of class by a policeman and questioned by a detective in school, I even went in front of a jury and told them all what had happened. By the time softball ended I had started to cut again, and I had met some new friends that were horrible influences on me, and my life started to go down hill.

Softmore year came I was into drugs, and taking pills that would make me sleep. I started having sex because I thought it would make me feel better about myself, and I thought it would keep my boyfriend and I together. I played games with my boyfriends head a lot with the whole break up, get back together, break up, get back together things. I told him I was pregnant a few times to make him not leave me. I was using him to get that “love” that I was looking for. I had him wrapped around my finger, and I didn't want to let go. This all went on for a few months before my parents found out. Once they did they asked me what I wanted to do, and I told them I wanted to run, or leave somewhere far away. Before I even thought about it I told my parents I wanted to go to a place called Vision of Hope. I didn't think I would be excepted to go, because I didnt think my problems were that big of a deal. I thought that was just how life was for most people my age, and that someday I would grow out of it.

The next few weeks I was filling out paperwork to get into Vision of Hope. When I found out I was excepted it really hit me. It didn't seem real to me that I would be really going to Indiana, because I lived in Portland Oregon, it was quite a big move for me. The time got closer and went by really fast, and before I knew it, I was moved in to VOH by January 6th. I was rebellious and rude to all the staff there, I told one of the counselors that I didn't like them to their face, and was extremely disrespectful to all of them. I didn't listen to my counselor when she was talking to me, or anyone for that matter. My roommate and me hated each other and fought all the time, one time we didn't talk for four days straight. That went one for almost a month, and God did something amazing in my life on Feb 1st I asked Jesus Christ to come help me, I prayed that He would take all my sins away and I asked Him to be my Father, and He really did. My life changed from that day on. Me and my roommate stopped fighting and now we have a great relationship. But even after I was saved I still had to work through everything. The two hardest things for me to go through were submitting to authorities and loving other people. I worked on understanding on how to love others week after week before it clicked that loving others is about giving and not getting, and that it was a choice to love people. Now, I'm not saying that I am a pro at it, I still have to work on it daily.

The best thing was that God made me a new person and that He has forgiven me of all my sins. I just have to keep doing my part, in Ephesians 4:22-24 it says “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” This verse reminds me of my part, that I have put off all my old ways and put on the identity of being a daughter of Christ. I'm a changed person and I thank God that He is a God of mercy and love.

Breaking News!: Save The Date!

2010-10-29T11:01:00.004-04:00

VOH Homecoming Weekend is scheduled for April 8-10, 2011.
We can't wait to see everyone again!!!

Staff Commentary: The Value of Life

2010-09-28T18:40:00.001-04:00

Recently I've been pondering the fact that I'm prolife. Of course, I'm pro-life. I'm a Christian.

But after months of letting some facts about the depravity of man and the theological truth of the sovereignty of God roll around in my head and mingle with thoughts about the wisdom of the providence and plan of a wise Creator and the grace and mercy of the Sustainer, I realize I've got more questions, not more answers.

Only this time the questions are different....

They're not about facts. They're about application.

They're questions about whether I really get it.

Like I said...I'm pro-life. I would not be able to bear the thought of murder or violence, but until recently I've not so deeply understood what I believe God means his image bearers to be when they say they're pro-life.

In the midst of all of this pondering on such a deep thought and all of its implications not only on my personal life, but also the ministry at Vision of Hope, I ran across a blog (http://www.prayforian.com/) that literally .... well, let's just say, completely flattened me.

I believed the truths about being pro-life, but would I live it as such a sacrifice as do Ian and Larissa on this blog?

As I read the unfolding story of Ian and Larissa I find myself questioning at what sacrifice I would live out my Savior's theology of caring for each other in this life-affirming way. Do I so believe that God is the author of life and the sustainer of my days, that I am willing to completely sacrifice myself to serve another person without a guarantee of a positive return or an improvement in the situation?

In all of my pondering on this issue, like I said previously, I find myself living in a land of questions. Do I have that kind of life-affirming faithfulness? Do I practice it even now in my work and in my home? Do I sacrifice to serve? Do I trust....simply trust...with no promise that the stressful circumstances will be altered? Do I get involved with life-giving works based upon my faith in a life-giving Saviour? Do I parent in a life-giving, redemptive story kind of way? Am I a wife that is so committed to life in my marriage that I refuse to even use a tone of death in my communication toward my husband? Do I foster deepening life in my relationships with my friends, based on my sacrificial service for their good? Do my parents and siblings look at the way my life is lived and remark that they've never felt so alive as they do when I am serving them?

Ian and Larissa, you put me to shame! Yet I am grateful for the opportunity to be gently and sweetly broken through your story. I am grateful for a Saviour who decided that it would please Him to give me life and who daily sustains me, even when I don't really get it.

Breaking News!: Job Openings at Vision of Hope

2010-09-24T15:53:00.002-04:00

Tell your friends...shout it out. There are several job openings at Vision of Hope. Follow this link for more info. Please share this with anyone who you think may be interested!

Education Update: "Right Thinking: Changing Thoughts that are Hateful"

2010-09-15T09:31:00.001-04:00

Today’s class in the Right Thinking series was titled “Changing Thoughts That Are Hateful”.

Approaching this topic one may assume they know all they need to know on the topic of hate. However, after listening to this class with the residents, Pastor Viars has helped us all re-evaluate any evidences of hate in our lives.

Although most of us oppose hate, this lesson helps us greatly understand the true ramifications of hate. 1 John 2:8-11 and 3:11-17 make it clear that a person who hates walks in darkness and abides in death.

We may be tempted to think this is not an area of struggle for us until we examine characteristics of hate. One example is having an indifference to the example we set for others. Pastor Viars asked, “Are you concerned about how your lifestyle affects those around them?”

This led to a great discussion about how our influence on others in our lives can have a very negative influence on them – and that is an example of hate.

--submitted by Heather Starkweather, Social Worker

Staff Commentary: Crimson

2010-09-03T10:46:00.007-04:00

Crimson

Don’t cry
Don’t let the tears fall
They only prove you weaker than you’re
Already thought to be
Hide it.
Smile.
Pretend everything’s fine
Maybe you’ll convince yourself
Finally.
Or maybe you’ll sink deeper into the rabbit hole
And drown a slow, painful death
You don’t deserve to die quickly
You deserve every scratch
Every cut
Every bite
Every drop of crimson blood
Trailing down your arm

Sometimes it's really hard to watch the residents we love so much hurting so deeply.

However, one of the things we believe is that Romans 8:18-19 is true. It says that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. II Corinthians 4:16-18 says that these earthly trials are working for our eternal good, and that makes the suffering of our life bearable.

Our prayer for our VOH girls who are suffering is that they will learn to walk with their hand in the hand of the Father who wants them healed and whole more than they do. As they learn to walk with God, they will learn to trust his goodness and put their hope in his sovereign plan.

Our prayer for the girls that are thinking about coming to VOH but haven't talked themselves into it yet... "God, help them suffer enough to figure out that they need you. Then don't let them stop looking until they find You! If you can use VOH in the process to help that hurting girl get the answers she needs, please make it happen in your sovereign plan for her good and your glory."

Resident Reflection: Always

2010-09-01T10:43:00.001-04:00

Always

My child, he says gently
I love you as high as the highest star
My child, he said
I will carry you as far as you need
And then I will set you down and
Walk beside you
My child, he says
I forgive you
As far as the east is from the west
On one can out love me
No one can defeat me
I am the victory in you battle
I am the only light to guide you through the dark
I am the only strength you need to fight
And my child, I will
Never
Leave you
Nothing you do or say will scare me away
Nothing that happens
Is too much for me to handle
For I am the creator of the
Sun and the
Stars
And I hold all of them in my
Hand
And you, my little child, are safe with me
In my arms

Always.

Resident Reflection: Walking

2010-08-29T10:34:00.006-04:00

Walking

When my heart is broken
And from my tears, my pillow’s soakin’
When I chase deceiving brass token
From every dream I am awoken

When my ways have me cloakin’
And my days have me chokin’
When I’m abused and shooken
You can find my story without hardly lookin’

And ladies, I ain’t joking’
The frog I’ve kissed is still croaking’
But behind me is a Prince of peace evoking
And when he has spoken
The demons will stop poking’

I am is faithful
See Abel offer something that ain’t cheap
See Noah build an ark without a peep
See elderly Sarah hold her baby and weep
See Abraham offer his son like a sheep
See Moses lead slaves through red Sea deep
See the walls of Jericho fall in a heap
See Rehab hide the good spies even though she was a harlot.
He keeps all of His promises
And with your heart He never compromises
Yahweh is a faithful God

Education Update: Parenting Class

2010-08-27T10:27:00.002-04:00

This past week we've been studying the roles and responsibilities of parenting by using this curriculum. We think this topic is very important not only for those residents that are expecting a baby and need to be preparing for the job but also for the rest of the residents who are benefitted from an honest evaluation of how they allowed themselves to be parented.

Biblically, we understand that since the very beginning of human history on earth we have been in a position of needing the leadership, protection, and provision from God as our Father. We were designed to flourish under his authority, need his counsel, and revel in his care.

Interestingly, we don't often make the connection that being the kind of parents God asks us to be allows us to grandly demonstrate his parenting over us to the rest of creation. This lesson series is intended to help make that connection for the girls at VOH.

Quite honestly, it's one of the harder lesson series to teach. It's easy to see the Biblical standard of parenting and then compare your experience against the standard in an unkind and judgmental way. It's also hard to confront past problems, especially when abuse or trauma has centered around your relationship with your parents. But even with all of those "hard" truths, it is so good for the VOH girls to learn what is really required of parenting, what kind of truths children need to be taught, what loving discipline looks like, and to finally understand the whole goal of parenting and being parented...being brought more and more into the image of Christ as the way of being most pleasing to God.

Please be praying for the girls as they digest what they are learning this week, as they process how their hearts have mishandled previous opportunities, and how they need to plan for future growth.

Deuteronomy 10:17-19 "For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt."

Graduate: Sarah

2010-08-25T10:01:00.001-04:00

Sarah's Move-In Date - July 15, 2009

Sarah's Graduation Date - August 13, 2010

Sarah's graduation testimony

As I thought through what to share with you today, I became overwhelmed, as a detail-oriented person, in thinking about attempting to summarize a year of my life of learning, growing, and changing. From the day I walked into VOH, it’s been like drinking from a fire hydrant! So I wonder, what direction do I take with the few minutes that I have, and how can I choose what’s important, because to me it was ALL important since it played a significant part in bringing me to where I am today.

God revealed A LOT about the heart to me, and showed me what a calloused, prideful, and completely selfish person I had become. He not only showed me what was in my heart, but because of what was in my heart was the reason my life looked the way that it did. When our focus becomes “out of alignment” so to speak, it affects every area of life.

One of the biggest things that hit me when I came to VOH, was that life is NOT ABOUT ME! I was on the throne of my heart rather than God, and I hadn’t even recognized it in that light. I was so focused on perfecting and preserving my outer appearance, that I’d become oblivious to what’s been in front of me all along. C.S. Lewis says “we are like an ignorant child who want to go on making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.” John 8:32 "and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

My life became a repeated cycle of eating disorders and materialistic addictions, and from there things just kept snowballing. Relationships went nowhere because they weren’t centered around Christ, and friendships were for the most part superficial, being connected mainly by fun. Attitude problems, ungratefulness, manipulation, dishonestly, and rebellious behavior overflowed from what was going on in my heart—I wanted what I wanted. What I was doing was a result of what I wanted, and I wanted those things because I was deceived into believing they were giving me something I couldn’t live without, when in fact the ONLY thing the I can NOT live without is Christ.

My problem did not begin with poor eating habits, it began in my mind, when one little thought after another slipped by, unfiltered through truth, and began to plant themselves in my heart. From there, the roots grew, and bad fruit was produced from a bad tree. What we worship is the focal point of everything we do, and out of my selfishness, I was giving myself to idols. Being uprooted and totally cut off from many of my idols and my lifestyle, was exactly what I needed. God strips us of our worthless idols because they rob Him of his glory, they rob us of an abundant and fruitful life, and blind us to truth. I was afraid to completely let go because I thought I was somehow benefiting from them. I Samuel 12:21 “Do not turn away after USELESS idols. They can do you NO good, nor can they rescue you because they are USELESS.”

I found myself not really knowing how I got to the point that I was at, but knowing that who I was, was not who I was meant to be, and the lifestyle I’d created for myself just engulfed me. I realized that I’m not exactly making the best choices and I should think about my choice of lifestyle. It was time to actually DO something about it. I couldn’t continue the rest of my life on a downward spiral. Where would I be 5 years from now? I had to think about what I wanted my life to look like, what I’m really about, what defines me, what my life NEEDS to look like in order to glorify God. Once it hit me that God IS life, and that’s the only purpose as to why I’m here, it changes how I live life, how I handle life, and what I strive to obtain and achieve. I had been spiritually starved because of the things I was choosing for myself; when we stop trying to cram everything else inside and turn to him, he fills us to satisfaction and completion. Our hearts are naturally hard which is why it's so important to daily immerse ourselves with truth. A need for God is a strength, not a weakness, because when you lean on the one who sustains all things, you become strong. I constantly need God in everything. I need him to heal me on the inside, to help me on the outside, and to make my life fruitful.

Everything apart from Christ leads to an empty life. Often, its takes us stumbling through the same lesson over and over and over again to really actually get it. My heart was deceived in believing that appearance gained approval, acceptance, and love—that’s what the world begs you to believe. But what happens when all of that fades? Looks don’t last forever…you can put all your time, energy, and money into trying to maintain or obtain a certain look and body type, but you’re just fighting against a never-ending battle, and losing against the process of time. Once you’re 80, you're 80…you don’t want to be the same person you were when you were 18…the goal is to keep moving forward and growing on the inside, not preserving the outside, that cannot be preserved…and if that’s all you ever lived for, what type of investment will your life have been?—one that focused on and invested everything in something so temporary and superficial, or one that has been a journey of growth in the things that will last for eternity—that’s what matters to God… I Peter 3:3-4 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your INNER self, the UNFADING beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

My phase 3 didn’t go entirely the way I’d expected and more less hoped it would go…it was much harder than I anticipated. I think that I tried to intertwine my hypothetic perfect little world with reality, and reality reminded me of square one: its not about me! It’s not about getting everything to line up perfectly, or to fix and change people and make them who I want them to be; it’s not about even my own life being what I consider to be ideal.

I almost had forgotten, with being in such a filtered environment for 9 months, how hard the world presses and how many things life bombards you with, and all the distractions that are fighting for your heart. It’s not a game, and its not just the “busyness of life” that many refer to, it’s a very real, very present spiritual war. Satan is subtly deceptive and knows our vulnerabilities. I’m so thankful though, that my heart rests in the hands of a very powerful and sovereign God who loves and protects me, and wants only good for me. I desire to be fully committed to the Lord; in my humanity my heart will always be divided, but the Lord wants to be our help… in 2 Chronicles 16:9 it says “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him…”

A need for God is a strength, not a weakness, because when you lean on the one who sustains all things, you become strong. I constantly need God in everything. I needed him to heal me on the inside, to help me on the outside, and to make my life fruitful.

All of this is exactly what God planned for me though. It’s been a daily battle of dying to self and living a life of humility as Christ did, embracing God’s infinite grace, and an on-going process of learning to have patience with God’s time table, trusting in his sovereignty, growing in faith, love, and wisdom. I wish life was easy and I wish I had the answers to all life’s questions and uncertainties, but I don’t, and therefore since I cant rely on myself, it's been teaching me to rely on the one who does—the one who gave me life in the first place, who knows every detail and has something great in store—Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

So I never thought for a second that it’d be an emotional time when it came time for me to move on from this place, but it became my second familiar, and I developed friendships that are rooted and solidly grounded in our Savior. I learned what biblical friendships look like as well as the importance of them. There were times in the program when I was sure I would give up, but there were 3 things I told myself in those times:

1. Hard isn’t bad, its just hard (a quote from an intern at one point), and it’s the hard things in life that shape us and grow us. God knows exactly what it takes to draw us to himself and to make us more like his son. Rom. 5:3-5 “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” If we keep our eyes fixed on the cross rather than our circumstances, we will always be sure of God’s love for us and his purpose for our life.

2. WHAT am I committed to? My series of poor choices which became poor habits in my life led me to seek guidance and counsel, and not just any counsel, but counsel that was fastened tight to biblical truth. I was tired of spinning in circles, and being enslaved to the desires of my deceitful heart. God led me to VOH. It’s probably one of the biggest commitments I’ve ever made so far, and the hardest, but it was well worth it. The things in life that are the most worth it are also usually the hardest.

3. Giving up on the program meant missing out on finding true freedom, and it also meant not having the things in common with the people who mattered most to me.

Romans 6:21-22 “What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.”

This program was so much more than I was aware that I was walking in to. My wrong perspective on Christianity skewed perspectives in other areas, but as my understanding of God and his love broadened, the gospel has become so much deeper. In all of his grace and love for me, He snatched me from the waves of life that were tossing me back and forth, and stood me on solid ground.

Resident Reflection: Book Review

2010-08-22T11:15:00.001-04:00

For each of the residents at VOH, one-on-one Biblical Counseling is a major part of the recovery process. And for each counselor, homework is a major part of Biblical Counseling. Each of the girls are assigned indiviualized assignments depending upon their need.

Recently one of the girls at VOH was assigned to read Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave and write a book review for it. Here's what she came up with ...

Addiction: A Banquet in the Grave Summary

Will we worship ourselves and our own desires, or will we worship the true God? What is "Addiction"? Is it sin, sickness, or both? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines an addict as "to devote or surrender oneself to something habitually or excessively." It also defines worship as to "idolize." So an addiction isn't really a disease is it? It's worship. It is giving your time and efforts to something and in doing so it takes a hold of you through habitual acts. In other words it enslaves you. Being a slave isn't a disease. It's when something or someone takes hold of you until you are freed.

The beauty in being an addict is that you CAN have freedom. The problem is most people don't know where to find that freedom. That freedom is found in Christ.

Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" Addictions stem from the heart and if Jeremiah 17:9 is correct, which I believe it is, then how can we even know where to begin the road to sobriety? Christ! He is the only one who can show us where our desires truly lie. Addicts need the power of God! I Corinthians 1:18 says "For the word of the cross is foolishness for those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." When we do not have the power of God it is nearly impossible to overcome enslavement and if we do overcome one addiction most of the time we will run to another.

Our addictions must be traced to our hearts and what they desire. Our hearts are designed to desire God but due to the Fall, we try and find satisfaction in creation instead of in our Creator. This is called sin and sin leads to bondage which leads to an addiction which ultimately leads to death. On page 66, Edward Welch describes the descent into our addictions. It begins when we are unprepared or unaware of our steps. This then leads to the friendship phase. The addict believes they have control and it's nothing serious then the addiction takes root. This is called the infatuation stage. Every need, want, longing, is found in the addictive behaviour. Finally addicts become abject worshippers. Romans 6:19 says "You used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness." Our idols originally offer the world but all it dishes out is hell. II Peter 2:19 says "for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him."

Our only way out of our slavery is to have Christ as our Master.

A person deep into addiction is desperate and in deep pain but, most of the time, would rather cover up their problem. Usually it's for reasons such as shame, fear, or many other reasons. To confront someone with their problem is the first step in helping them, but it MUST be out of love and not annoyance or anger. The addict is already at a low point, they need love and guidance not condemnation. An addiction is not an easy road and it takes a lot from everyone involved. I Corinthians 13:4 says "Love is patient, love is kind."

The best way to know how to love someone is by getting to know them, know their story. Everyone has a story and everyone's story is unique. Learning someone's story will also allow you to find out whether they are a believer or follower of Christ. If they are not they need to know the truth because without Jesus you can do nothing (Colossians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.")

If and when the person receives Christ or knows Him, he or she should learn practical theology not only to know the Lord better but to fear Him. Chapter 8 says, "As we grow in knowing the Lord, we do something. We respond. We can't help but respond." AMEN! God is powerful and with His power He moves mountains. When we begin to realize life is about Christ and not about us anymore, our desires and focus changes. When we learn about forgiveness and what it really means then we can't help but love Him even more. We replace our addictions and idols for an all powerful wonderful Saviour who frees us from bondage. The addict cannot be free until he or she understand and realizes that.

It is essential during this process that the addict turns from lies. Jesus says in John 8:32 "and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." Satan is the father of lies so it only makes sense that lies enslave you. Jesus sets us free!

Most addicts will think that once you have the answer then they are cured but it also takes effort. Yes, Jesus does free us but that freedom is shown in many ways. One major way is self-discipline. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." God enables us to be disciplined.

This is war. We must fight! It's not a war of flesh but a "war against your soul" ( I Peter 2:1). We must fight with hope because Satan has already been defeated! Do not give him what is not his! Victory is ours! The only way to keep up the fight is to pace yourself around the body of Christ! God's grace is sufficient and with His grace He gives freely! He gives us one another to fight!

Resident Reflection: Processing Salvation

2010-08-20T10:30:00.001-04:00

Art is used as a tool at VOH to help the girls process what they are learning. In this blog post you will see the art of one girl who studied the truths about God for weeks on her own, and as a result made the decision to accept Jesus' sacrificial death on her behalf in order to be able to have a relationship with God.

This art shows the journey. It is dated and shows the progression of thought she was going through as she processed truth about God, truth about her nature, the truth of Jesus Sacrificial death for her, and finally the personalized decision she made to accept Jesus as savior.

Shared with permission...

Resident Reflection: The Roses That Never Died

2010-08-13T10:00:00.003-04:00

shared with permission...

Alone with the creaking of rusty chains, a girl swings.
Head bowed, eyes downcast, one foot slowly pushes back and forth.
The silence creeps in and starts to weight down on her heavy heart.
Bitter tears flood the girl's pale face.
Afraid of the world she built, the one of regret and dpression,
She's come to find that she no longer knows how to carry on.

A coward's choice could be her biggest achievement in life.

All it takes is one slight motion and an explosion to the ends of the earth.
The gun is cold and heavy in her hand as she presses it to the side of her face.
Suddenly the girls finds that she is no longer alone.
She feels the presence of someone behind her.
Startled, the girl turns to see a man with gentle eyes and a sad smile.
She starts to back away but the man hold out his hands to her and the sight of them stops her.
On each of his wrists is a circular scar,
Almost as if something had been driven through there.
The man quietly takes the gun from her and throws it behind him.

"Come to me, my child, and you shall have a changed life.
Never again will you feel unloved, for I shall always be with you
Confess and ask forgiveness for your past, and it will be forgotten.
For I died to save you from yourself and the sin of this world.
Come to me and be changed into something beautiful."

With tears streaming down her face, the young girls chooses life in the arms of her Savior, Jesus Christ

Resident Reflection: GPS...Revisited

2010-08-09T08:34:00.002-04:00

GPS...Revisited
by Kate

details.
i get so caught up in them.
Everything I do.
i could memorize dates of the entirety of ancient Greece,
but if you asked me to explain Greek history to you?
nope.
not a chance.
i always thought myself to be a "right-brained" thinker,
you know, the creative, artsy-fartsy type who plays her clarinet down by the river.
but now?
I'm not so sure.
Somehow, between 29 years of Christian schools, church, Sunday School, family devotions, and youth group, i stuck God into a little box labeled 'details.'
Sure, i let Him out when it was convenient - to answer questions in Sunday School, or to spout off chatecisms at my confirmation.
but to let Him ALL the way out of the box?
that would be too big, too confusing.
because God is huge.
and i couldn't handle that.
and then i got this roadmap
better yet, a GPS.
i could see where God had been, where He is now, and better yet, what the final destination is
i can see how the whole trip fits together.
it's like looking at a whole mountain range, not just one peak.
i can see the very beginning, when it was God alone.
i can see creation, the fall.
i can see the promise God made that he would redeem man.
i can see the ages in history of Kings and prophets who watched and waited for this promised Messiah.
And then?
He came.
Died.
And rose, defeating death, and with it the sins of all men.
i live in an age where we once again wait, this time for the return of this Messiah who defeated death
my heart pounds in anticipation for the day He will tke me with Him to heaven to reign with Him.
but my heart breaks for those who rejected Him and will be left to suffer the reign of satan.
but my hope?
my lies in the big picture.
not the God-in-a-box I once imagined.
My hope lies in the wedding gown i will wear
and the kind i will worship forever.
my hope lies in the pormise of no evil, no sufering
only perfect communion with my God
my BIG God
my eternal God
my un-boxed God.

Shared with permission. Written by one of the VOH girls upon learning about God's Plan for the Ages.

Resident Reflection: This time one year ago...

2010-08-07T15:00:00.002-04:00

This time one year ago I was planning how to kill myself. Being alive in 2010 was my greatest fear. My despair became desperate as the clouded thinking of 5 years enveloped me.

Shortly before my plan was ready to put into action, I was stunned by my parents giving me the ultimatum of checking into a psych ward or coming to Vision of Hope. I had never heard of Vision of Hope and the thought of coming here was frightening. My trip from my home state was miserable in every way.

Vision of Hope has astounded me from the first time I walked in the doors. The staff's commitment to love and not let go of anyone, to never give up no matter how tough someone tried to be, and to speak truth no matter how uncomfortable the situation has been a daily picture to me of God's faithfulness.

In the past 7 months, I have finally learned how to connect the theological mandate of glorifying God to the everyday activities of life. For the first time what I had always "known" was the point of life became a desire of my heart and found practical outlet in my life.

Life became bigger than my own comfort, satisfaction, or pleasure. I am no longer trapped by the impossible struggle to be satisfied by what I can see, taste, or touch.

My purpose of loving my mighty and marvelous Savior by obeying His desires for my life is slowly being fulfilled one action, one day at a time.

One of my biggest challenges has been learning to face hard things. I've spent my life trying to avoid, ignore, or cover up conflict and pain. Slowly I'm beginning to see God as good enough and powerful enough to allow and use every difficulty in my life. Rather than run from hardship, I can use it to reflect who my God is.

As I've learned more of the gracious, faithful love of my Savior and powerful, unchanging grasp of my Creator the more futile and empty I see living for my own gratfication and comfort. Being captured and held by the one who designed me to know Him is so much more than I could ever find on my own.

Vision of Hope has truly been my lifeline. It is not an exaggeration to say I wouldn't be here without it. God is here and working, and I am so grateful to be here.

Counseling Resource: Eating Disorders

2010-08-05T16:25:00.002-04:00

We are very much indebted to Elyse Fitzpatrick for her work writing "Love to Eat Hate to Eat." All of the counselors at Vision of Hope use this resource regularly with girls struggling with disorderly eating. It's a great resource. If you'd like to buy a copy you can do so through many online bookstores, including this one connected to us. For less than $5 you can get a resource that can help change your life!

Resident Reflection

2010-08-02T13:28:00.001-04:00

Before I came to Vision of Hope my life was spiraling out of control, to a point where I didn't even know what I wanted, I couldn't distinguish a truth from a lie, I hurt people I loved, and as a result, caused myself a lot of hurt.

I wanted to be satisfied, so I crammed whatever I thought would satisfy me into the empty hole in my heart, but, like a Jack-in-a-box, it eventually sprung back up in my face. Nothing was ever enough. I grew up around the idea of God, but it just wasn't for me.

After nearly screwing up my life I just wanted everything to stop. I wanted peace. I was crying for a change, for things to be different and for help!

After coming to Vision of Hope I found God and accepted him as my Lord and Savior on September 22, 2009. I've never been the same. God is changing me. That other girl is dead. She was crucified with Christ.

God's changing my desires one at a time. He's teaching me to let go of myself and trust him alone. It's no easy task. I wrestle with Him all the time. I really am working on accepting that I am forgiven, loved, and free. I have a long way to go, but I am growing more and more everyday. My hope rests in knowing I am never alone, and Jesus will come back for me.

Resident Reflection: Our heart cry!

2010-07-12T08:48:00.002-04:00

Graduate: Regina

2010-04-19T17:34:00.003-04:00

Regina's Move In Date

Aug 20, 2008

Regina's Graduation Date

April 16, 2010

Regina's Graduation Testimony

If you would have seen my life before Vision Of Hope, You would have seen me as a normal person. Having been raised in church, my dad was the one that I looked up to all my life. I would not do anything that they considered wrong, because I wanted to please my Mom and Dad.

I had what the world called the perfect life. I dressed the right way, acted the right way, and could tell you almost every story there was in the Bible. Knowing what to say and what not to say, if you looked at me, you would have thought that my family was perfect.

Though the whole time on the inside I was rebelling.

See the thing is that even though I looked perfect on the outside, like the white tombs that Jesus was talking about in Mathew 23:27, where it says " Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but on the inside they are full of dead man’s bones and all uncleanness."

I lived a life pleasing to men, I had everybody fooled thinking that I was something I was not. All the while I was sinking deeper and deeper into sin trying it my way. I would cover it all up and act like everything was all ok. On the outside I looked good, though I had hidden secrets that nobody knew about, exept my family who was just ignoring it all together. I was ignoring it all the same until I couldn't take it anymore.

You would have thought that being raised in church that I would have turned to God right then and there, though I was still afraid that if people knew the real me that they would reject me.

So I had to learn to rely on God the hard way. At first I tried to earn my salvation by being good enough to go to heaven. I would find my comfort in the good works that I had done... obeying God's Laws, helping people out, and being there for people. All not bad things to do when done in the right motives, though I learned that these things alone can't save you from your sins. Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. I still had the sin nature and trying to do it on my own.

So when that didn't work I went to trying to forget my past and my problems through alcohol behind the scenes. I thought that I had everybody fooled, though the only one that I had fooled was myself.

At this time there were people in my life that were telling me about Vision of Hope. It took 3 different people, at 3 different times for me to finally get the message and apply for Vision of Hope.

Even in coming to Vision of Hope I was still doing things my own way instead of learning from the wise people that God had put in my life. I though that like everybody else in my past life that they were trying to control me. So even living at Vision of Hope it took me getting dismissed from the program though anger and rage and then finally reinstated for me to break down and rely on God.

I had learned that what Romans 8:28-29 says was true in my life, that He worked everything out for my good. Because it was there when I had nothing else left that I learned to put my trust in God and to teach me what He wanted me to know. God had used this trial in my life to get a hold of me and remind me that I am a sinner and that I needed forgiveness from my sins. Acts 20:19 says "Serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials"

Though I’m not saying that I’m perfect now, I have learned we just progress to become more like Christ daily. Lamentations 3:22-23 says that "The Lord's Lovingkindness indeed never cease, for His compassion never fails. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness."

Graduate: Liddy

2010-04-17T17:55:00.004-04:00

Liddy's Move In Date

October 9, 2008

Liddy's Graduation Date

April 16, 2010

Liddy's Graduation Testimony

I grew up in a Christian home, I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. I had a good life, I had an awesome family and great friends, so I just couldn’t understand what was wrong, what I was missing. It was frustrating to go by, day to day, and act like everything was fine, when deep down I was struggling. I felt so alone even though I had plenty of friends and a big family. I continued to pretend I was fine and happy, but inside I was hurting, I was missing something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I bottled up so much frustration and confusion; it seemed pain and anger were the only things that surfaced and I could barely hold in my rage when trials came. I needed a release, something – anything – that could take away the pain and the void that I locked away in my heart.

As for God, no way. My heart was hardened and God wasn’t in the picture; I would not let Him have a chance. I knew that God was real, but I just couldn’t allow myself to worship Him. I wasn’t willing to worship a god that claimed to love the people He created, yet He let them suffer so much. To me that wasn’t love, that was cruelty and I hated God for that. I no longer wanted to go to church either. I mean c’mon! All I did was sleep. To me, at that point, church was one big lie. Church is a place to worship God, to praise His name, and I couldn’t do that. And it made me angrier and angrier. I was mad at my parents for telling me that God is a great and powerful God, who loves us so much. Mad at the church body for lifting their hands in praise to God, whom they loved and held close to their hearts. They all really loved God, who they believed was so mighty and so worthy of their praise. How could they?

And that’s how it all began. Doubts. Bitterness. Just like in Genesis, the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, the Serpent, the Tree, Deception. The serpent planted seeds of doubt in Eve and deceived her by allowing her to think it was okay to go against God. And Eve sinned. I doubted God’s power. I let my heart deceive me. I believed the lies, I rebelled against the Truth, I fell into darkness. A darkness that seemed so appealing, so helpful. Depression was my only comfort.

It was in eighth grade I was introduced to self-harm. My friends told me about cutting, as scary as it seemed, I was intrigued. Unsure about adding physical pain to the emotional pain already inside, on the surface it seemed to bring my struggling friends happiness, so I joined them.

I kept everything a secret from my family. I didn’t want them to find out and take away my only means of escape, the only thing that seemed to give me the feeling of control. I loved feeling in control and hated anyone who was above me, or tried to take that power away. So I was constantly in trouble with my teachers and always fighting with my parents. They didn’t like that I was classified as ‘emo’, wore all black and listened to hardcore music, so if they got wind of me harming myself I knew they’d be furious. I couldn’t let them take that away from me, I absolutely wouldn’t. I never would have guessed that over the next few years my obsession with pain would affect my family so badly. I never took the time to read the disappointment, the pain written on their faces as they watched me wither away. I was silently killing not only myself, but those around me who loved me most. But I didn’t care. I just wanted peace, I wanted away from the insanity.

I was so deep in my sinfulness, that one mistake, a tiny ripple in my sea of sin, sent me over the edge. It was then that my eyes were open to the chaos i had caused for everyone. This wasn’t what I had intended at all! My whole family was hurting because of me, everything was my fault. Disappointment and exhaustion were all I could feel. So I decided to end it all. No one would care if I was gone because I had wronged them all so much. As I slipped away, it hit me like a ton of bricks. This isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to die! I cried out to God to give me another chance. I asked Him to forgive me for all the wrong I had done to all those who loved me.

And God was so merciful in allowing me to live. When I woke up, in the hospital, to find my whole family surrounding me, in tears, I knew that something had to change. None of us could go on living like this. I needed help, and I needed it now. But my family didn’t know where to turn, none of the treatment centers or counseling I had been to helped. But God didn’t give up on me. My mom, was taking care of a former resident who had just had a baby at Vision of Hope. She told my mom all about Vision of Hope and how it had changed her life. In less than two weeks time, I was moving into VoH as a resident.

I had big issues and moving into a house full of complete strangers was a little scary for me. It was these strangers that I would have to trust with my deepest, darkest fears and troubles. Though everyone seemed genuinely kind, I wasn’t willing to open up. I didn’t talk about the serious subjects; I was only full of laughter and jokes. I didn’t take my counseling seriously; I didn’t even do my homework truthfully. I didn’t talk openly with my mentor, Lyn Taylor. I wanted things to be easy, like old times, so I rebelled. But my counselor Debbie Costa and the program’s director Jocelyn Wallace refused to give in to my manipulative habits. They told me straight up, “Get serious or go home.”

It was by God’s grace, the truth of God’s word, the never-ending support from my family, the continuous encouragement of Lyn, the faithful counseling of Debbie, the love that everyone poured out upon me, staff and resident included and many trials that God brought me to my knees. Being a resident at Vision of Hope has taught me so much about life, friendship, family and most importantly, my relationship with God through Jesus Christ. I learned to trust my family, to open up and talk to them about how I feel. I learned that regardless of how I feel toward my authority, God put them as my authority for a reason and I am to love and respect them in everything I do. Because if I don’t listen to my authority, I’m not only disrespecting them, but I’m also disrespecting God Himself, for he put them in charge of me. I’ve also learned a lot about friendship. I am easily influenced by my friends, so Debbie went through the Bible with me, to show me what godly friendships looked like. She told me one session that friends will lift up themselves because the relationship is focused on you and that friend, while true, godly friends will lift up God because though the relationship is you and the friend, it is focused on God.

But, above all these things, I learned how important God is in my life. Though I knew verses like John 3:16, I didn’t understand just how significant they are to me. The God that had always seemed so cruel to me, began to seem merciful, gracious. I had convinced myself that God let us suffer through trials because He didn’t love us, but I never stopped to think that God uses those trials to make us more like Christ. So when Debbie and I discussed Romans 8:28-29, to say I was stunned is an understatement. I never thought that God would help us through our trials, and the fact that He would never give us any trials that we couldn’t handle without Him, which is stated in 1 Corinthians 10:13, just blows my mind. There was so much about God and Christianity that I either didn’t understand or I twisted to make myself seem justified in my sins, which I was not.

I look back and am amazed at how much I have changed, since first entering the program. Though my pride would love to shout out that it’s all thanks to me and my hard work, I know, we all know, that it’s only through God’s amazing grace, His patience, His persistence in my life, as well as a countless number of people here, that I could have ever come this far. And though I have come a long way, I also know that I still have a long way to go because this side of Heaven no one is perfect, I’m far from it, and I make a countless number of mistakes every day. But every day, God helps me stand back up and fight against sin, and against Satan.

I want to thank my church family at Faith Baptist, all those at Vision of Hope, my family and friends for being such an encouragement, and Jesus Christ for being my Lord and Savior. Thank you all for never giving up on me and for always being there for me. I owe you all a lot, and there is no gift I can give that would express my gratitude, other than the assurance that I know, that I know, that I know, I will see you all in Heaven one day. Thank you.

Breaking News!: Homeward Bound 2010

2010-04-17T17:20:00.004-04:00

On April 10, 2010, approximately 450 walkers showed up at Reihle Plaza in downtown Lafayete, Indiana to collaborate on a major fundraising event for 9 different not-for-profit agencies in the Greater Lafayette area.

Vision of Hope was one of the agencies that participated in putting on the event, which allows local agencies to work together to raise funds collaboratively. Each partner agency recruited team captains that put together a team full of walkers. The teams could choose to support one agency or split the funds between all of the participating agencies.

This year, Vision of Hope had 12 teams walking to raise money for the ministry. What a success it was!!! Those 12 teams lead by their awesome team captains raised more than $18,000 in funds for Vision of Hope. All of those funds will be used to offset the cost of providing the Vision of Hope programming at no cost to the residents.

Additionally, corporate sponsorship and general team funds contributed an additional $2,000, so it looks like we will have raised about $21,000 - $22,000 during this exciting event. Keep an eye on our Enewsletter for the final total numbers. If you'd like to sign up to receive our newsletter, please follow this link.

We are so thankful for the thousands of people who pledged their support to the agencies involved. We are also very excited for next year's walk. We're already making plans.

We hope to make Homeward Bound 2011 a reunion event for Vision of Hope, brining back teams captained by VOH grads and resident families and friends from all over the country. Start planning now... We're going to make it an all weekend reunion event, with the kickoff being the Homeward Bound 2011 walk! More info will follow.

In the meantime, enjoy these photos from our fun day!

Graduation Photos

2010-04-17T16:42:00.001-04:00

On Friday evening we celebrated the graduation of Regina and Liddy. Regina had joined Vision of Hope 21 months ago and Liddy more than 19 months. For all 110 people present, the graduation ceremony was a sweet time of remembering what God has done in their lives through His Word.

Here are some of the photos from our event.

Breaking News!: Resident featured in new commercial

2010-04-14T11:21:00.003-04:00

One of our residents was recently featured in this commercial for Faith Baptist Church that has been airing advertising the new Identity Series currently being taught during the Sunday morning sermons:

Breaking News!: Cora Carter featured in Journal and Courier

2010-04-14T11:19:00.003-04:00

Our very own Cora Carter and her son, Elijah were recently featured in Lafayette's Journal and Courier. Read the article here!

Breaking News!: Tomorrow's the day!!!

2010-04-09T20:45:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow's the big day for Homeward Bound in Greater Lafayette. As one of the many agencies involved, Vision of Hope has been working hard to make full use of this great fundraising opportunity. Vision of Hope plans 4 fundraisers each year, and with this spring fundraiser we are hoping to raise $22,000 - $25,000 to use to provide the programming at Vision of Hope at no cost to our residents or their families.

We praise God that already so far the 12 walking teams raising money exclusively for Vision of Hope have raised over $11,000. We know that additional donations will come in Saturday morning, so we are very hopeful to get close to our goal.

As we prepare for tomorrow we'd like to ask you to pray with us about the following issues:
1. Safety for the walkers. We are walking through both nature trails and city blocks. Please pray especially for safety as walkers cross through areas of traffic.
2. Success for the agencies. This fundraiser has the opportunity to be a very successful way for many different agencies to raise money to support their programming. We would pray that each of the agencies meet their goals.
3. Testimonies of the VOH teams. We are praying that the VOH girls, interns, and staff walking on Saturday morning would shine like bright lights for Christ in our community as they observe our sweet attitudes, loving actions, and sincere faith in God.
4. Realization of our goal. We are sincerely asking God to help us meet our fundraising goal of raising $22,000 - $25,000 to support the programming at VOH through this fundraiser.

Once again, we thank you for everything our friends do to support the programming at Vision of Hope! We are so grateful for you!

Breaking News!: 5 days and counting...

2010-04-05T10:20:00.001-04:00

There are 5 short days until the Homeward Bound 5K fundraiser. Vision of Hope staff and residents are so excited to be preparing for the big day on Saturday.

Here's how you can pray today:
1. Pray that we have great weather with no rain on Friday as we prep and Saturday as we setup and walk.
2. Pray that our walkers and the walkers from the other agencies' teams will be safe and remain uninjured.
3. Pray that our walkers will be great testimonies for Christ.
4. Pray that the other teams walking for other agencies around Lafayette will be successful in raising funds for their programs as well.
5. Pray that the VOH teams would continue to gain additional last-minute walkers and / or financial support.

If you'd like to join a walking team or donate toward a general VOH team please visit http://homewardboundindiana.org/team/2976

Thanks!

Breaking News!: We need your help with Homeward Bound 5K!

2010-03-18T22:25:00.002-04:00

Vision of Hope is participating in a statewide initiative to help end homelessness called Homeward Bound on April 10, 2010.

Although Vision of Hope is not a homeless shelter, it is designed to help treat some of the many issues that eventually lead to homelessness like drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, and unplanned pregnancies.

Please help us as we use this venue to raise funds exclusively for Vision of Hope.

During the Homeward Bound fundraiser many community agencies come together to work as a team to put on a fundraiser. Each agency recruits walkers and teams that will raise funds exclusively for them. Corporate sponsors have made it possible to not only put on this event at no cost, but also to raise significant general funds that will benefit all the participating agencies.

This year the team called "Glimmer of Hope" has been set up for anyone who would like to contribute to the fundraising efforts for Vision of Hope. If you would like to join this team please follow this link. You may either join the team and do your best to raise donations on your behalf as a walker or you may donate to one of the walkers already on this team.

There are also 11 other teams raising money exclusively for Vision of Hope. We have a combined goal of raising $25,000 for Vision of Hope. If you'd like to browse the other teams working together please click this link.

Please consider how you can be involved today! For step by step help getting signed up as a walker please email jwallace@vohlafayette.org We'd love to have you join us!!!

Counseling Resource: Steve Viars' Foreword to God's Healing for Life's Losses

2010-02-09T06:54:00.001-05:00

Steve Viars' Foreword to God's Healing for Life's Losses

Can't wait to read the book!

Breaking News!: Martha's BCTC testimony

2010-02-07T22:54:00.001-05:00

Tonight Martha shared this testimony at the Biblical Counseling Conference. It was powerful!

One year ago my parents were attending this conference hearing testimonies about God changing people’s lives. I was at home planning how to die. No one would have guessed that I was planning to check out of life. I was an A average student in the Nursing program at a local college, I had friends, family, health, a job supposedly everything you need to be happy. Monday night of the conference my parents received a phone call saying I was writing suicide notes. For the second time in one month the police were called and came to our home to see if I was ok. A little while later my pastor and his wife showed up and forced me to spend the night at their home. My parents flew back to Virginia the next morning and gave me the startling choice between applying to Vision of Hope or checking into a psychiatric ward. I know nothing about Vision of Hope but knew it was better than a psyche ward. Believe me if you ever have that choice you’ll pick a residential treatment center.

My path to despair is both universal and unique. Simply put I could no longer endure the deep depression that had filled my life for 5 years. Five years of counsel, prayer, striving, searching and wishing left me at the same place of sinking sand and … God had abandoned me to darkness and I was no longer going to be a victim of God’s cruelty. If God wasn’t going to rescue me and make me happy then I would escape the pain and despair that were a crushing daily reality. I wasn’t going to stand around and be in pain for no purpose.

How amazing that one year later I am standing here giving a testimony of what God has done in my life, the life I was determined to not live.

God’s Word has changed my life. Being counseled from Scripture by people committed to living out what they teach has literally saved my life.

There are 5 main concepts I have learned from counseling that provided a foundation to the changes I am now implementing.

• What it means to glorify God –I knew man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever; as Pastor Viars would say blah, blah, blah. I had no practical steps or Scriptural basis to use this in my life. The Biblical counseling I have received made it clear that glorifying God is not a drudgery in life, it is what gives my life meaning every single day.

• Consequences—I thought I was a helpless victim of sad feelings that would forever be a part of my life. Through intense study of Scripture it became obvious that the depression I was experiencing was actually the fruit of my own wrong choices and idol worship.

• Playing God – I had a highly developed system for appeasing God and telling Him what to do. When life didn’t follow the lines I thought it should, I nose-dived into angrily blaming God, and wallowing in feelings of self-pity. Realizing I am under the rule of a good God who will work everything together for my good, not my happiness, frees me from fear and despair.

• Through Biblical counseling I came to see the things that I put before God. Difficulties in life were a direct attack on my safety, comfort, and ability to control. I wanted those things more than I wanted to be like Christ.

• An Eating disorder was not on the list of presentation problems when counseling began. Looking at my life through the lens of Scripture has made me realized how out of balance my thinking has been. I have lived as a bulimic in almost every area of my life, binging on control, food, school, relationships, and activities. I would invest everything into an area of life until I became worn out and then I would quit and swing to the other extreme of complete disinterest. What a joy to learn that life has many aspects and following God means having a balanced view of each area of life. A proper perspective of eternity makes everyday life both meaningful and manageable.

• I had grown up in Christianity, done Christianity, and spoken Christianity, and yet developed a completely skewed perception of God. One day while doing counseling homework, I was stunned to realize God didn’t need me. How shocking. The God of the universe not needing or even wanting my opinion on how He should rule my life. As foolish as it sounds I had lived presuming God was in my debt and answerable to me for His decisions. Relief and rest have filled my life as I have given God the heavy weight of being God. I no longer need to control or manipulate life; it is in the hands of a perfectly good, completely powerful, and totally wise God.

One year ago my consuming goal was to be dead. Today my consuming goal is to live for Christ as a young woman who glorifies her God. How is that even possible? Those changes only happen after years of therapy, months of medication, and intensive self interest, or so Satan would have you believe. However, I am here to tell you nothing is more powerful than the Holy Spirit using His Sword in a person’s life. I have been amazed, stunned, awestruck as I’ve discovered the reality that my God is so big He doesn’t need the world to fix His people’s problems. He is so awesome and capable that there are no problems too big for Him. He is so wise that will never be a situation in my life where the only option is to sin. He is completely sovereign; there is no circumstance in my life unplanned or wasted.

Surprise, surprise I am actually attending this conference. I am coming here because my life has been transformed by the beauty of biblical truth. I have reaped the benefits of someone taking time out of their life, ministry, family, work to learn how God intends for our lives to function as followers of Him.

As you learn how to counsel from a Scriptural basis please remember that this is not about knowing more Bible verses, or sticking God’s name on the world’s ideas of how to handle life. Please believe that God is not into quick or easy answers; I am going into my 8th month of counseling. Real problems require real answers. Life dominating sins do not disappear overnight simply a person wishes to change. Please believe me this is a battle for people’s lives; the answers you give to hurting people are a matter of life and death. God’s Word is life.

Deuteronomy 32: 46-47 say “Take to heart all the words with which I am warning you today…for it is not an idle word for you; indeed it is your life.

Resident Reflection

2010-01-29T14:32:00.001-05:00

I am almost finished with my time at Vision of Hope. I will be transitioning out of the house and into phase three by the end of next week, so I've done a lot of reflecting over the past few days. Once again, God has given more than I had imagined and has demonstrated his faithfulness and love.

The faithful believers at Vision of Hope have been a blessing. I'm so grateful for the love, support, and proayer that surrounded me as God pulled my life from a pit. I've been challenged and encouraged by watching as the staff and interns walk the same path they instruct the residents to walk. Their commitment to follow Christ at any cost is apparent.

I am thankful that I am not the same person who walked through the doors of VOH seven months ago. God did not leave me where I was! Yes, it has been a hard road, but I am thankful beyond words that God was not willing to let one of his children dishonor him any longer.

Through hearting Truth from the Word every day in this program, I've learned to consider obeying God of greater worth than a comfortable, easy life. I am committed to live in a way that brings Him glory. I want to seek His kingdom - not one of my own.

My comfort, as I start life outside of the house is that God's name is on my life and that everything I face is for his glory and my good.

Resident Reflection: My Dream

2010-01-25T10:27:00.001-05:00

Shared with permission. . .

My Dream

The fires of Hell made me shiver in fear

There's no way out of darkness and despair

God, take this terrible pain away!

The burns on my arms go to my bones,

And the ash in my eyes makes them bleed!

The feeling of hopelessness and loss has taken over.

Yet, there is still a faint light in the distance, calling my name.

And before my last breath I say,

"I'm sorry, forgive me, I believe."

And I reach for His hand as my eyes close.

My eyes open, and they are clean!

The burns are gone,

I feel no pain, and see no darkenss.

The feeling of over amount of happiness and joy,

Makes my eyes start to tear

Knowing God has forgiven me,

As the sinner I am.

And now I'm in the presence of God

Singing and praising Him

Worshipping Him for eternity.

This poem was written by one of our girls last week as she comtemplated the truth of Scripture she's hearing and understanding for the first time. Last week she almost made the decision to become a follower of Christ, but something is holding her back. Please be praying for her this week as she contemplates this further. We want her to become a Christ follower, but we want it to happen on Christ's terms (II Cor 5:14,15).

Breaking News!: New Year New Girls!

2010-01-11T10:07:00.001-05:00

January 2010 is going to be a busy month. In one month alone we are planning to welcome 4 new girls. That is a lot of change all at once, but we're confident we will be able to coordinate it.

Here are ways that you could be praying for the transition:
1. Pray that each girl that moves in will be bringing a humble, teachable attitude.
2. Pray that they would be looking forward to being in the program instead of dreading it.
3. Pray that they would not face circumstances that would derail their plans. Many times lots of last minute things occur which make it easy to back out of plans.
4. Pray for travelling mercies. January in Indiana is not known for it's easy travel or warm and balmy weather.
5. Pray for the girls who are already living in the VOH house. Transitioning a new girl into the group takes a lot of effort, and they each have to be purposefully loving or there tends to be bumps.
6. Pray for each new girl's counselor. Getting a new girl settled into the program can be challenging. We want each girl to begin her stay with optimistic hope for the future, and many times the first 2 weeks are very hard.
7. Pray for each new girl that is settling in to learn the routine quickly, so she can focus on learning, growing, and changing.

We are so thankful for the many prayer partners we have. Vision of Hope is participating in spiritual warfare, fighting for the souls of girls. You are too when you pray with us!

Breaking News!: Living Nativity

2009-12-21T12:15:00.001-05:00

Each year Faith Baptist Church puts together the Living Nativity. There are many life size scenes with real actors portraying different scenes from the events of the Bible. About 10,000 visitors come through during the two weekends that the Nativity is open.

This year the VOH girls participate during the second weekend and were cast in the Crucifixion scene.

Click on this link to see the girls in action during their scene: VOH Girls at Crucifixion Scene

Other scenes from the event include:

The angel appearing to Mary and Joseph

Soldiers at the entrance to Bethlehem

In Bethlehem

Joseph, Mary, and Baby Jesus in the stable

The angel appearing to the shepherds

The Wise Men

Jesus calming the sea

Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead

The Crucifixion Scene

Jesus being raised from the dead

The Rapture

Breaking News!: New baby coming!

2009-12-16T20:03:00.001-05:00

This sweetie is going to be having a baby in January. Elijah is due soon and needs the normal care items any new baby should have. If you'd like to support Cora and Elijah you can refer to her two registries to see what is still needed. She is registered at Walmart and Target.

We are planning a baby shower in January after the baby is born but Cora is ready to start getting her baby's room ready as soon as the baby care items come in.

Thanks for considering showing Cora and Elijah your love!

Shared with permission . . .

Resident Reflection: Ignited

2009-12-15T16:26:00.003-05:00

Shared with permission . . .
No, no please not today
I really don't want to come out and play
The thoughts in my head they come and they go
Disguising the truth in what I already know
Outside Cocaine spins round and round
If only I could see just one more pound
Here comes porter he wants me to run
Oh how it looks like so much more fun
And there he is, sitting and staring
I wonder his thoughts to see if he's caring
Turn off the lights and no one will see
Hurry! Go quick! Carefree, Painfree is what they promise me
But there is One who has more to offer
And I look up to see his way so much taller
"First loved and chosen" I think in my head
He promises it all, his blood is so red
"No! It can't be," is all I can hear.
Then I see all my friends coming, coming near
"Come and lay! Come and play!" I hear them all say
"For we are your friends."
"And we're here till the end."
I get up to stand
And out goes my hand
From inside my chest comes a burning desire
Like the deepest red flame from the deepest pit of fire
For that which you reap comes from the seed sown
The pain in my heart makes me wither and moan
I look up and see the tall rocky way
And a sign at the bottom reads "The price has been paid."
"For this can not be," I stop and I pause
"There has to be a catch! Some outrageous laws!"
Then speaks a small voice so still and so clear
"All you have to do is keep my commands near."
My comrades I see get bigger and stronger
This pain in my heart I can't take it much longer.
"Come follow me and I'll take on your heat.
First loved and chosen," the voice starts to repeat.
The others they scream and the voices get louder.
My heart starts to race and my knees start to cower.
And what happened next I cannot recall.
It was like the noise had just hit a giant brick wall
The voice said, "My child get up and come here."
Then I felt a soft hand and it caught my first tear.
"My way is not easy but through all I'll show
with every step taken, my daughter, I'll go."
I felt the red flame turn to cool blue
Then my will inside became yours to do.
Jehovah and Yahweh, yes, that is your name
In extinguishing mine, you've ignited your flame.

Breaking News!: VOH Christmas Party

2009-12-14T22:23:00.002-05:00

Both last year and this year we tried to make Christmas very special for our VOH girls. Unfortunately, Christmas past sometimes does not have pleasant memories, and Christmas future is a scary proposition, so we try to make Christmas present the start of something new and beautiful.

This year instead of going out for a fancy dinner at a restaurant, we were treated to a fancy Christmas dinner prepared and hosted by the Berean ABF at Faith Baptist Church. Our cook was Deb Trilus, and we feasted on a delicious extravagant spread of tasty treats. Several of the couples from the Berean ABF took the opportunity to really SERVE the VOH staff and residents, in part to show their appreciation for the amazing way the VOH girls serve all year long.

We are so thankful for the selfless way our hosts served us, allowed us all a chance to relax and have fun, and made the evening very special for us all.

Mingling prior to our big party

Being served by our friends

We loved the tasty treats we were served.

It was so fun being all dressed up and being treated in a very special way.

The dining room was beautifully decorated for us.

Our fabulous cook, Deb.

Staff Commentary: First Loved

2009-12-11T09:42:00.003-05:00

There is this truth called 'first loved'. I can not comprehend how forever in the past, that was what purchased my soul to belong to God. The reality of being Chosen is an identity I neither rationalize nor work for, but have been calmed, comforted,quieted by a thousand times over. Always at my lowest moments does God draw me to crawl to, and collapse in this, being first loved and chosen.
A keen sense of miserable and inescapable inadequacies remind me "I" am not the reason for being called
Child,
Servant,
Treasure,
Saint...
These are only and always because I am first loved. Perfect love casts out fear. The greatest weapon of faithfulness
is not "try harder"
is not "be better"
is not "fail never"
There are still great haunting fears that seek to slay me, and those are merely toothpicks with which to fight. The greatest weapon of being faithful is perfect love. And I do not own it or earn it. It is given, and placed as a mighty fortress around my pitifully weak self. And in the massive, intimate fortress, God whispers words of still assurance, "You are chosen, you are first loved."
These words bind strength to my crippled faith, and nurse nourishment to my starving soul. For such truths rest not in me, but are sustained forever in Him. He Himself calls me Chosen, by Him I have been and always will be first loved.
In His calling I rest. In His love I press on through both failure and success. For He composes the greatest hope to endure by whispering,
"It is I who chose you,
It is I who love you first
This is about Me, not you little child."

-Tori Shirk

Breaking News!: Krystle's Testimony

2009-12-10T12:19:00.004-05:00

Shared with permission . . . .

Hi. My name is Krystle. I have been a member of Faith Baptist Church for about 3 months now. I am currently a resident of Vision of Hope.

Before coming to Vision of Hope, I was just another lost soul trying to understand the world around me. My whole life I have always desired and searched for love and a purpose. I remember searching and longing for answers but never knowing where to turn or who to believe. I was making my way believing the lies of the world that freedom comes from doing whatever you want, and that my purpose in life was to be independent and do whatever made me happy. I was very selfish and pleasure driven. I lived for the moment and self and because of that I opened myself up and accepted the drug culture.

I began using when I was in college at the age of 20. My drug use began small, thinking that I was in control of my life and usage. I maintained a job, relationships, school, etc. Before too long though, instead of me controlling the drugs…they began to control me, and I became enslaved. It was a ten year downward spiral. I dropped out of school, cut off relationships with my parents and family, and used friends to meet my needs. I lived in my car for a period of time, because I didn’t have anywhere to live. I ended up not only using but also manufacturing and distributing. Following this was a repetitious cycle of realizing I was in trouble, trying to clean up on my own, and then ending right back where I started.

During this whole time period my purpose in life was to be with my boyfriend and be loved by him and to live the hippie lifestyle. In Aug 2003, I found out I was pregnant with our first baby, so I decided to clean up right away. I knew I wanted to keep the baby and my boyfriend decided we would get married. We stayed clean for about a year and a half and slowly, because I tried doing it on my own, the drugs came back into our life. In Sept 2006, our second baby was born, and I stopped using drugs again. But shortly after having her the pressures of life, being a mother of two, working, maintaining a household, and paying bills became overwhelming I went back to what I knew would numb me from having to deal with the problems.

The downward spiral began again. We started using, used our money to buy drugs instead of paying bills, and eventually began selling again, because we didn’t have any money. This time the downward spiral was quick, and I realized I couldn’t do it anymore, was tired of living a lie, being a million different people to everyone, putting up facades, and I felt guilty about raising children in that environment. I was constantly afraid that my children were going to get taken away from us.

So at Christmas time 2008, I acknowledged that we had a problem, and I knew something needed to happen. I allowed the kids to be cared for by my in-laws while I tried once again to quit my habit on my own. This time it didn’t work. I couldn’t kick the habit. I continued to use even though I had lost everything.

The last month before seeking help I realized I didn’t want to use anymore, but I kept using and using. My drug of choice was no longer working for me, and I was completely enslaved. I was so overcome by my guilt and shame that I knew I needed to ask for help to go to rehab.

Thank God for bringing me to the end of myself, so I could see that Jesus is the only way and that I alone cannot defeat this sin, but in Christ Jesus and His sacrifice for me on the cross I can overcome it.

After humbling myself and coming clean to my family, I searched out help and God in His Sovereignty brought me to Vision of Hope. After being here, and being taught from God’s word, I have accepted Christ as not only my savior, but the Lord of my life. God’s word is absolute truth. God’s word has given me all the answers to my questions and how to live a godly life. His word has taught me what my purpose in life is. God has called me to do three things…

1. To bring honor and glory to his name. I am to be the visible representation of the invisible God.

2. To be a good steward of the gifts that he has given me in my life. Stewardship means that God owns everything and I own nothing. God has entrusted me with what I have. I can increase or decrease these gifts but God expects me to increase them, and finally God can call me into account at anytime.

3. My final purpose is to fulfill my God given role as a woman, which for me includes being a wife and mother.

His word really is a double edge sword and has to power to transform lives. It really came down to trust and obey for me. I knew the ways I was trying before did not deliver the desires I was after, but God’s way does and God is faithful. I am a sinner saved by grace, and I walk daily in the power of the Holy Spirit. Because I’ve been given this chance to work through drug abuse I’ve not only been able to deal with that problem completely so I am not a slave to that anymore, I’ve also been able to see the relationships with others in my life improve. Even though my husband and I are both dealing with our own sets of consequences for past choices, I’ve been able to focus attention and energy on rebuilding my marriage so that it honors God. I’m learning how to understand Biblical roles in marriage and how to implement them into our unique situation right now. Now that I have learned that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church I am committed to fulfilling the role of being a wife to my husband even when it’s hard. At the present moment, because of the consequences of your choices, we are not living together but I am very excited for the day that God reconciles us as husband and wife.

Because of my choices, my children have suffered tremendously. They have been living for the past 9 months without their mommy and daddy, but I’m so thankful that I have learned how to be the kind of mother that God commands me to be. I’ve been learning how to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord, and I’m very thankful for the growth that I’ve experienced ,because now I am reuniting with my kids on the weekends and being able to put into practice the truth that I’ve learned as I parent them. I’m also very excited for the reunification of the kids back to our family.

My relationships with my parents and my husband’s parents have also benefitted greatly from learning how to love and follow God. Instead of building my relationships on lies and deception I’m able to have even more meaningful relationships, because it’s based on truth and transparency.

God really has made me a new creation. I give Him the praise and glory.

I am so thankful for this ministry and the people that are willing to live for God and let His light shine for all to see. I am thankful that God has chosen me as one of his children and that I can be his visible representation. I am no longer a slave to sin. My chains are gone and I have been set free thanks to God’s amazing love and grace. I know have been taught my purpose in life and that is to glorify God and do His will.

Resident Reflection: One Year of Memories for Stephanie

2009-12-09T23:34:00.003-05:00

Shared with permission . . .

December 9th, 2008.........I was pacing anxiously in my hotel room after arriving at Best Western in Lafayette, Indiana. I'd made a huge decision.....to move myself here and go into a program called Vision of Hope. I had no idea what to expect; I was afraid; I wasn't sure I'd made the right decision; and all I knew was that a sweet lady named Janice would show up there the next morning to get me.

Well, it's been one year since I came to Indiana and my life has made a complete turnaround. God has been faithful, gently showing me (often through the staff and interns at Vision of Hope) where I needed help in making changes. He's showed me that by myself, I can't be anything but sinful and selfish, but with His grace, mercy, and forgiveness, I can continue to grow in the faith. I can love others and serve others because Christ loved me first. My purpose in life is not to please others, please myself, or strive to be someone others admire. My purpose is to live a life that brings glory to God.

It's not been an easy road, by any means. I've dealt with many health issues and uncertainty in that area. I've had to learn that being independent or living a life of ease cannot be my idol. I've learned that God never brings trials into my life without a reason. Also, pleasing God isn't all about what I "do" or what I can accomplish in a day!

Not only did God bring the amazing women (staff, interns, and residents) of Vision of Hope into my life--he also lovingly brought me into a godly family here in Lafayette. I can see now that everything that has happened in this past year has been orchestrated by a loving and powerful God and I am SO thankful.

Thank you all for being a part of my life this year. Thank you, Vision of Hope--staff, interns, and girls! Thank you Janelle, for instructing me and loving me....and for getting out your shovel to shovel me out when I needed it.....and getting out your big boots when I needed a kick in the tush. Thank you, my local family, for opening your home to me and showing me how a Christian family lives and loves!

I'm excited to start another year here and continuing to grow!

Blessings and love, Stephanie Joy